Payness Reader
Tap it, dip it, or swipe it. Our pocket-sized reader accepts every card. Customers are consistently surprised by how small it is, and how well it works.
Payments · Point of sale · Poor naming decisions
Everyone's talking about your Payness.
The all-in-one payments platform for businesses of every size. And we do mean every size. It's not about how big your Payness is — it's about your transaction volume.
- 0merchants served
- $0.00processed to date
- 100%of meetings derailed by the name
One Payness. Endless possibilities.
Hardware and software designed to work together, so you never have to handle your Payness alone.
Payness Stand
A sturdy countertop stand that's up whenever you need it to be. Swivels to face the customer. Eye contact optional.
Payness Capital
Fast, flexible funding to help your Payness grow. Most merchants see growth within weeks. Results not typical. Consult your accountant.
Payness Extension
Our browser plugin adds up to three inches of checkout button to any website. Clinically unproven to improve conversion.
Payness Payroll
Pay your team on time, every time. Nothing builds morale like the whole staff getting a piece of your Payness.
Payness for Healthcare
We built it. We pitched it. Every clinic hung up on us. Now discontinued.
Global Payness Monitor
Money moved worldwide today
$0
since midnight UTC, through everyone who isn't us
| Rail | Per second | Transactions today | Value today (USD) |
|---|
The rows above are estimates: published annual totals (roughly 2024–25) spread evenly across the year, so they tick at each network's average pace. Real traffic is lumpier. Rails overlap, so the total double-counts some money. The Payness row is, regrettably, exact.
Actually live: Bitcoin connecting…
The one payment network that lets anyone watch. Real data from mempool.space, refreshed every 20 seconds.
BTC price—USD
Waiting to be confirmed—unconfirmed transactions
Fee to go next block—sat/vB
Latest block—
Mempool backlog, last two hours
Genuinely useful. We're as surprised as you are.
Two real tools, no innuendo required. Some included anyway.
How much will they take?
Processing fees on a single sale, by provider.
| Provider | Rate | Fee | You keep |
|---|
Standard published US rates as we last checked them; yours may differ. Verify before betting the bakery on it.
What's your Payness worth abroad?
Daily reference exchange rates.
- Loading rates…
Rates via frankfurter.dev (European Central Bank reference rates).
Merchants can't stop talking about it
"I've handled a lot of payment processors in thirty years. Never a Payness like this one."
"My husband and I share a Payness. Honestly, it's brought us closer."
"When mine went down on a Saturday night, support was discreet, understanding, and had it back up in minutes."
The heads of Payness
Four co-founders, one adult in the room, one regrettable word, zero revenue.
Jim McKelvey
Co-founder & CEO
Coined the word "Payness," which is both his greatest contribution to the company and the reason it can never exist. Also a glassblower. That is not a euphemism.
Anna McKelvey
Co-founder & COO
A former attorney who speaks six languages, and has declined to say "Payness" out loud in any of them. Runs all of our operations, of which there are none, flawlessly.
Sam Wen
Co-founder & CTO
Architect of the entire Payness platform, which is one HTML file. Personally responsible for 100% of our uptime and, per the monitor above, 100% of our $0.00 in volume.
Annie Phan
Co-founder, CPTO & Head of Growth
Holds the title of CPTO, which she invented and which no one, including her, can expand. As Head of Growth, her job is to make our Payness bigger. She has asked us to stop phrasing it that way.
Pricing for every size
No long-term commitment. We're not ready for that either.
Small
Free
It's fine. Really. Lots of successful businesses have a small Payness.
- One location
- Basic reporting
- Reassurance
Average
$29/mo
Statistically, this is you. Most merchants who claim Enterprise are on this plan.
- Up to five locations
- Advanced reporting
- Team permissions
Enterprise
Call us
A Payness so large it requires a dedicated account manager and its own seat in meetings.
- Unlimited locations
- Custom rates
- Two-handed support
All plans: 2.69% + 6.9¢ per tap, dip, or swipe. We rounded carefully.
Ready to show the world your Payness?
We're not launched. We're not even a company. But you can still get on the list.